[Glass figurine of Angus in his favorite position, by Tim Marinelli]12:10 a.m.
When the doorbell rang I shot out of bed and looked down the stairs. Mum had opened the door wearing a nightdress that you could quite easily see through. Even if you didn't want to. Which I didn't. There was a policeman standing at the door, holding a sack up in front of him at arm's length and his trousers were shredded round the ankles.
"Is this your bloody cat?" he inquired, not very politely for a public servant.
Mum said, "Well, I...er."
I ran down the stairs and went to the door.
"Good evening, constable. This cat, is it about the size of a small Labrador?"
He said, "Yes."
- From On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God by Louise Rennison
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