“Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.”
- Georgia Nicholson, Away Laughing on a Fast Camel

Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?
- Georgia

Here is my recipe for a mood enhancer. Take a friend, preferably one with a really annoying fringe and outsize pants, and when she is rambling on swiftly, push her into a ditch and run away.
- Georgia Nicholson

...And the kitty cats would have to erect scaffolding and a pulley to get him down. Mind you, I wouldn't put that past them. Sometimes when they are behind the sofa supposedly purring, I think they are drilling.
- Georgia Nicholson

“...maybe he overreacted a bit."
"A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.”
-  Georgia Nicholson

I'm sorry, I have just fallen over from the weight of my eyelashes.
- Georgia Nicolson

10:20 a.m.
And Uncle Eddie, the baldest man on the planet, is coming with us.

Jas: "You didn't pack your tent up properly."
Georgia: "Oh, I'm sorry, are the tent police here?"

- Stop in the Name of Pants

11:13 a.m.
Oh good, and she has her "fwends" with her, Scuba Diving Barbie, Charlie Horse, a parsnip and cross-eyed Gordy. Gordy is under house arrest because he has not had the immunization injections he needs before he is set loose into the wild jungle world of our street. I'd like to see the germ hard enough to take him on.

10:00 a.m.
Dad had Uncle Eddie round, so naturally they had to come and see what I was up to. If Uncle Eddie (who is bald as a coot) says to me one more time, "Should bald heads be buttered?" I may kill myself. He doesn't seem to realize that I no longer wear romper suits. I feel like yelling at him, "I am fourteen years old, Uncle Eddie! I am bursting with womanhood, I wear a bra! OK, it's a bit on the loose side and does ride up round my neck if I run for the bus...but the womanly potential is there, you bald coot!"

Talking of breasts, I'm worried that I may end up like the rest of the women in my family, with just one bust, like a sort of shelf affair.

- Georgia

Mutti came into my bedroom to get Libby out of my wardrobe. She’s made sort of a nest in there that she says is a tree house.
Over the shouting and biting I said to Mutti. “Do you think you could ask Dad if you and he could club together to let me have some money for breast reduction surgery?”
It took her about a year to stop laughing.
It’s pointless asking for money. I can’t even get a fiver out of Dad for some decent lip gloss He would never give me the money. Even if my breasts we so big that i had to have two servants called Carlos and Juan to carry them around for me.

- Georgia Nicolson

Looking through the old family albums. I’m not really surprised I’m ugly. The photos of Dad as a child are terrifying. His nose is huge- it takes up half of his face. In fact, he is literately just a nose with legs and arms attached.

- Angus, Thongs & Full-Frontal Snogging

"Jas?"
"What?"
"Shut up."
"I was just being a chum."
"Well don't."
"Well I won't."

- Startled by His Furry Shorts

Gordy is cross-eyed. He can literally keep his eyes on 2 things at a time.
- Georgia

"I must be glittering and glamorous and brave."
- Georgia

On the rack of romance.
And also in the oven of luuurve.
And possibly on my way to the bakery of pain.
And maybe even going to stop along the way to get a little cake at the cakeshop of agony.
Shut up, brain, shut up.
- Georgia, Startled by His Furry Shorts

[Glass figurine of Angus in his favorite position, by Tim Marinelli]

12:10 a.m.

When the doorbell rang I shot out of bed and looked down the stairs. Mum had opened the door wearing a nightdress that you could quite easily see through. Even if you didn't want to. Which I didn't. There was a policeman standing at the door, holding a sack up in front of him at arm's length and his trousers were shredded round the ankles.

"Is this your bloody cat?" he inquired, not very politely for a public servant.

Mum said, "Well, I...er."

I ran down the stairs and went to the door.

"Good evening, constable. This cat, is it about the size of a small Labrador?"

He said, "Yes."

- From On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God by Louise Rennison

[Angus, aka, Handsome Rob, aka the Fat Boy, adopted by Casey in Spring 2008]

Angus: My mixed-breed cat, half domestic tabby, half Scottish wildcat. The size of a small Labrador, only mad.
- Georgia, Angus, Thongs, & Full Frontal Snogging

Who the heck is Geogia?

If you're a new visitor, or you aren't a member of my family, you might not be too familiar with some quotes from Georgia Nicholson such as [here] and [here].

What I refer to as "the Georgia books" is a series of teen fiction written by the fabulously talented Louise Rennison. Casey began reading her series a few years back and our family is now totally addicted to them. The books center around the misadventures of Georgia Nicholson, a British teen and her crazy parents, little sister Libby, cat Angus, and her friends, "The Ace Gang." They are, in a word, hilarious. Casey was terrific with her British accent and quoted these books constantly. In fact, she named her cat Angus!

There are eight books total:

• Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging
• On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God
• Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas
  
• Dancing In My Nuddy Pants
• Away Laughing on a Fast Camel
• Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers
• Startled by His Furry Shorts
• Love is a Many Trousered Thing

If you're looking for some laugh out loud reading material, definitely check them out!

Yummy scrumboes!

Libby: I am the Queen.
Robbie: Are You?
Libby: Yes I am the Queen and Georgia did a big poo this morning.
- Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging

The Famous Losing It Scale
The 'LOSING-IT' scale

1. Minor tizz 
2. Complete tizz and to-do 
3. Strop 
4. A visit to strop central 
5. FT (funny turn) 
6. Spazattack 
7. Complete ditherspaz 
8. Nervy b (nervous breakdown) 
9. Complete nervy b 
10. BALLISITICISIMUS 

Jas, your spaceship has arrived. Please get in.
- Georgia

Gird your loins and adjust your nungas for battle.
- Rosie

It's okay, I'm wearing really big knickers.
-Jas

Well I thought I might go to the river with Tom and -
No Jas, you thought wrong.

That is the kind of person I have become. A red bottomed child eater.
- Georgia

What would I be doing walking the streets at night dressed as a stuffed olive --- gate crashing cocktail parties?
- Georgia

Libby handed me a piece of cheese and rubbed the spot where my eyebrows had been.
Great, I've become rat woman.

Erlack a pongoes!

Should bald heads be buttered?
- Uncle Eddie

Dad, there was an unfortunate leg-through-the-ceiling incident last time you went into the loft.
There was a weakness in the roof.
Yes Dad, that was you.

The hills are alive with the sound of pants.
- Dave the Laugh

But the burning question is this: What in the name of Richard the Lionheart's codpiece am I going to wear for the gig?
- Georgia
*Thanks Marisa!