10 Things I Hate About You: "That must be Nigel with the brie."

Oops? My insurance does not cover PMS!

Hello, Katarina. Make anyone cry today?
Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.

I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?
I think you can in Europe.

Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, *no* ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas.

And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated.

Alright. Uh, I talked to her; I got the scoop.
What'd she say?
"Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote.

Mr. Stratford, it's just a party!
...And hell is just a sauna.

Maybe if we were the last two people alive, and there were no sheep. Are there sheep?

Excuse me, uh, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver?

I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.

This morning, I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl, do you know what she said to me?
"I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeazy boyfriend wear a condom"?

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