I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."
- Mitch Hedberg
1.28.2012
Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.
- Thomas Aquinas
11.07.2011
Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
- Elizabeth Taylor
9.14.2011
8.01.2011
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade ... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
- Ron White
7.22.2011
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway
5.19.2011
Wine: a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy. Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.
- Benjamin Franklin
8.23.2010
Probably the best place is Home Depot... or any hardware store. You just walk up to the cutest guy and say "Do you know where I get nailed? I mean nails? Pardon me, I've been drinking all afternoon." And that way he knows: one, that you're easy, and two, that you like to drink.
- Must Love Dogs
12.31.2009
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. - P.J. O'Rourke
