Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
- Bill Cosby

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.
- Bill Cosby

I am not the boss of my house. I don't know when I lost it. I don't know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss's job and I do not want it. 

- Bill Cosby

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

- Bill Cosby

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

- Bill Cosby

The police are your mother and father.
- Bill Cosby

I just wondering, what would be the effect of an Ark on the average neighbor?
Now, here's a guy going to work, 7 o'clock in the morning - Noah's next door neighbor - and he sees the Ark.
"Hey! You up there!"
"What you want?"
"What is this?"
"It's an Ark."
"Aha. You wanna get it outta my driveway? I gotta get to work."
"Listen, what this thing for anyway?"
"I can't tell you."
"Hahahahaha! Well, I mean can't you give me a little hint?"
"You wanna a hint?"
"Yes, please"
"How long can you tread water?"
- Bill Cosby

Happy Father's Day!

Your father, Jo. He never loses patience―never doubts or complains―but always hopes, and works and waits so cheerfully that one is ashamed to do otherwise before him.

- Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.

- Tim Russert, Big Russ and Me

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on a rope.

- Bill Cosby, Fatherhood

Gray hair is God's graffiti.
- Bill Cosby