My mother told me that fear was not an option. I was always told that women are stronger, so I believed it.
- Diane von Furstenberg

The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

- Phyllis Diller

My husband says the only thing domestic about me is that I was born in this country.
- Phyllis Diller

To be a woman, you have to look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, and work like a dog.
- Leah Chase

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.
- Bill Cosby

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. 

- Elizabeth Taylor

Happy birthday Mom.

Women know
The way to rear up children (to be just)
They know a simple, merry, tender knack
Of tying sashes, fitting baby shoes,
And stringing pretty words that make no sense,
And kissing full sense into empty words.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

- Bill Cosby

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success, wrong by wrong.
- Mae West

I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for "Ohhh my God, you're thin."
- Ellen DeGeneres

It's the good girls that keep the diaries. The bad girls never have time.
- Tallulah Bankhead

What's wrong with us grils?

- Graffiti

I believe in pink.
I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.
I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day and
I believe in miracles.
- Audrey Hepburn

Inside every older lady is a younger lady -- wondering what the hell happened.
- Cora Harvey Armstrong

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
- Janette Barber

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
- Lily Tomlin

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
- Carrie Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
- Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
- Bette Davis

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
- Rhonda Hansome

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
- Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
- Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good Luckily, this is not difficult.
- Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
- Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
- Jennifer Unlimited

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem