Mothers are not short-order cooks. What's on the table is what's for dinner for the whole family. If you don't like it, breakfast will be really good tomorrow.
- Cat Cora

Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint - it's delicious. 

- Kramer, Seinfeld

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives.
- Oscar Wilde

People who love to eat are always the best people.
- Julia Child

The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are, can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino!
- You've Got Mail

I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?
- Bill Bryson

Secret's in the sauce.
- Fried Green Tomatoes

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
- Mitch Hedberg

Gastronomical perfection can be reached in these combinations: one person dining alone, usually upon a couch or a hill side; two people, of no matter what sex or age, dining in a good restaurant; six people, of no matter what sex or age, dining in a good home.

- M.F.K. Fisher

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
- Ernestine Ulmer

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
- Homer Simpson

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook
- Julia Child

{via fuffernutter}

Friends

{by artist Dara DiLiegro}

In this house, carrot cake counts as a vegetable.

If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? "Would you like some breadsticks?" "No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll."

- George Carlin