I have several men in rotation. One’s waiting for me out in the car. Don’t worry, I rolled down the windows.

- Donna, Parks & Recreation

I am always thinking one step ahead like a carpenter who makes stairs.

- Andy Bernard, the Office

Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint - it's delicious. 

- Kramer, Seinfeld

"Tyra, is that you, what are you doing here? "
"Nothing just wishing I could build a time machine and go back and shoot who ever it is that invented Algebra, that’s for sure."
"Well, see that’s kind of a Catch-22, though because in order to invent that time machine you may need to use Algebra."
- Friday Night Lights

Today's a little different, but I think Modern Family would have been a show that Casey would have loved. Here are some of my favorite quotes! - E


‎You look like you stood under a bird that poops ugly hats."

‎"I have some concerns about the shower situation…I'm pretty much at my target weight, but the thing is, I haven't quite reached my target height."

‎"We need to talk about this Ta-da."

"Luke. I am your father. That's what I said when you were coming out of your mom's lady parts."

‎"You danced without me Mitchell!"

‎"You're worried about germs? I've seen you kiss a pigeon on the mouth."

‎"Tell me it was booze, cheating, physical abuse, no problem. I’m a monogamous social drinker and Claire only sleep-hits me."

‎"Leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America."

"It's like they say, sometimes God closes a door, but sometimes he closes it so hard, you can't get your wife out."

‎"Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. Good times she wrote."

‎"I had bread, I had cheese, and I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?"

"Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it."

‎"Every realtor is just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere, but not me. I’m completely clueless."

“That’s what the disabled lesbian shaman who blessed Lily’s room said, too.”

I don't know what the tooth fairy looks like so I dressed up as a giant tooth. Here's a little present.
- Jacob, Under the Umbrella Tree

Decisions are made by those who show up.
- The West Wing

Opportunity does not knock, then knock again, and then leave a note saying, "Sorry I missed you."
- That 70's Show

Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl accidentally kills the first woman she meets, then teams up with three complete strangers to kill the woman's sister for personal gain.
-TV listing for The Wizard of Oz