What’s a wedding? Webster’s dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one’s garden.
- Homer Simpson

Casey's Maid of Honor Toast

On June 7, 2008, Casey gave the below toast at my wedding.

Congratulations - today is your day
You're off to a new house, Job to do, bills to pay
We've come quite a ways From the time we were small
You're no longer a girl Though you're not exactly tall

Imaginary friends, till I came along
Just us time lapsed twins, a new friendship strong
But just 'cuz you're older doesn't mean we forgot
All the moments that passed from adult to tot
Pickles and ice and playing house
Head-down running and Mickey Mouse
Naps and fights and fishsticks and peas
Dress ups, mom's makeup, and skinning our knees

Soon two became three One more girl in tow
A performer this time Who could put on a show
Tired from playing, she slept a lot
And attention and love she always got

Soon three became four, This time a blonde
Quite the little talker And of her we were fond
Through autumns and springs Through summers and winters
Through bronchitis and colds Through stitches and splinters
Tea parties and tattletales To driving and dates
SATS and college Apps Which everyone hates

A month into school, Lib has a new guy
A calculus book and the boy with blue eyes
Our first impression of Peter that year
Was a phone call at midnight, quite hard to hear
A New Orleans arrest, Libby reveals
Peter started a riot – Blue Devils or Tarheels?

Parties and pledging, White House, Fancy Dress
Italian Wedding, the Palms, and no more arrests
She's Phi Psi's sweetheart and they're both social chairs
Civil suits from landlords and Fallout nightmares

Graduation for him – a job teaching school
His students thought he was incredibly cool
A proposal, a wedding date, the planning begins
An apartment, no parking, yet no shortage of grins

So here's some advice for my new brother Peter
You won't find another any more sweeter
She loves lattes and cats and celebrity blogs
She collects shoes and friends and frogs
She's funny and kind and loyal and true
And an Eagle's fan though that shouldn't surprise you
She's stubborn enough that if you get her going
She might trade your shed for some needed lawn mowing

So this is my toast to my only big sister
Who's found for herself the very right mister
May you have so many joys but just a few sorrows
May you enjoy your todays and all your tomorrows

To my sister and brother Let's raise up our cups
To the good and bad times To the downs and the ups
Hopes for your futures and memories of your past
Enjoy each other always, because time goes by so fast.

Father of the Bride, Parts I & II

"Armani doesn't make a blue tuxedo." - Franck

"...So I am removing the superfluous buns." - George

"And then you're sitting there, with rice on your tux, wondering what happened to your life." - George

"How would you like to go through life with the name Cooper Banks-Mackenzie? The kid's gonna sound like a law firm." - Matty

"Two Vastnick is like, "Bye, George! See you next Thursday!" - Franck

"Are you telling me I might have a granddaughter named Sophie Zankman?" - George

Bummer man, he delivers.