The Office

Michael: I am a victim of a hate crime...Stanley knows how i feel.
Stanley: That wasn't a hate crime.
Michael:...well, I hated it.
- The Office

"Oh oh I'm a little baby, oh I'm hungry, oh paperclips! Staplers! Oh oh, I would like some milk. And you know where that comes from?"
"BREASTS."
-Michael

"Your location has been compromised. Abort mission. Destroy phone.
- Memo to Dwight, The Office

"Leaving one 'dwigt'."
- Pam

"This belt is not a toy. This is a message to the entire office so that everyone can see I can physically dominate them."
- Dwight

Jim: Dwight wants you to know he knows nothing about bear attacks.
Dwight: Jim! No, tell him that bears can climb faster than they can run. Jim, tell him!
Jim: Andy!...No, it's too far...

"I will misunderstand everything Andy Bernard says until he goes insane."
- Dwight

Jim: "Okay, just so I understand it...in your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. And you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil."
Dwight: "Yeah, well I haven't told you my salary yet."
Jim:"Go."
Dwight: "Eighty thousand dollars a year."

"Question. What type of bear is best?"
- Jim

"Do we know anyone in the accident?"
"Brad Pitt."
"Oh my god, is he alright?!?!?!"
"He will never act again."

"Um, I love frolf!"
-Andy, The Office