I suppose having 19 kids is carrying it a bit too far, but if we had it to do over who would we skip... you?
- Frank
Helen, you've been the victim of an alcoholic Pearl Harbor. It's amazing you survived at all.
- Frank
Family Doctor: Call my wife, will you, and tell her I'm on my way home?
Family Doctor: And tell her thank you.
Frank Beardsley: For what?
Family Doctor: We don't have any children.
I'm legal!
- Phillip
It's giving life that counts. Until you're ready for it, all the rest is just a big fraud. All the crazy haircuts in the world won't keep it turning. Life isn't a love in, it's the dishes and the orthodontist and the shoe repairman and... ground round instead of roast beef. And I'll tell you something else: it isn't going to a bed with a man that proves you're in love with him; it's getting up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable, wonderful everyday world with him that counts.
- Frank
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