12.23.2009

Home Alone 2

Do you know how the tv works?
I'm 10 years old. TV is my life.

You can mess with a lot of things, but you can't mess with kids on Christmas.

My tie is in the bathroom and I can't go in because Uncle Frank is taking a shower. He says that if I walked in there and saw him naked I'd grow up never feeling like a real man.

Two scoops sir?
Two? Make it three. I'm not driving.

He said he didn't come all the way to New York to get his naked rear end spied on.

Remember, if this makes the papers, we're no longer the Wet Bandits, we're the Sticky Bandits!

My grandfather says if my head wasn't screwed on, I'd leave it on the school bus.

You're not boring. You don't mumble or spit. You should do it more often. Just wear an outfit with no pigeon poop on it.

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